We Are Not Enough
Parents, moms, dads, guardians, friends, humans of planet Earth - how do you do it all?! Does anyone do it all?
Life has some serious perceived expectations - and I feel like I've been dancing with them lately. And I don't mean slow dance or even two-step, I'm talking I-carried-a-watermelon-Dirty-Dancing-dancing with what it means to be a good mom, good employee, good wife, good daughter, sister, friend, neighbour, human. It feels like there is pressure from all directions; keep the house clean, make organic meals, pack those organic meals into sustainable lunchboxes, deliver the best material, reach the largest audience, do your make-up, put on real pants - okay the last one seems fair 5/7 days but does anyone else feel me on this list?
I think about it daily, in the silence when I'm walking alone, in the noise when I'm driving with the boys, while I'm falling asleep at night. I don't know for sure what the answer is or how to solve it - if you do please share - what I have noticed is this:
People pick up where you leave off.
This magical thing happens when you're absent - someone else steps up. This phenomenon occurs both personally and professionally. When I have a work-heavy week my husband magically steps in and lifts a little more than his share. When meetings call for my time the amazing village of friends, neighbours, siblings, and colleagues appear with open arms to embrace our boys and let them play.
When I have a home-heavy week (or two, thanks to hand, foot, and mouth disease) my colleagues at Vivo step in and carry things forward without so much as a groan. They appear from all areas of our organization to advance whatever it might be that I've temporarily halted.
People are an incredible thing - an asset, a power, an irreplaceable talent. So I suppose this naturally all goes back to community and wisdom from About a Boy or John Donne or Jon Bon Jovi - no man is an island, it takes two at least.
Admitting we need help and letting other in isn't always easy. Some of us see it as a weakness or failure but I just can't negate the fact that we are stronger when we lean on one another.
We were made to be together, we have survived because of our ability to work together in meaningful and productive ways - and you know I believe that's how we're going to continue to be successful.
I wrestle a lot with feelings of not being enough - not being enough of a mom, enough of a wife, enough of an employee - I probably always will. But whenever I'm able to work through it, to wrangle my thoughts into something useful this is where I land. I often get here by thinking about the richness my boys experience because if everyone else - Arun's butter chicken, Alexis' stickers, Miss Amtul's treats and hugs, Miss Cynthia's play, cookies with Miss Sanya, Miss Raquel and Miss Giorgina, swimming with Miss Nadia, walking Monty with Nana and Papa, exploring with Grandma and Grandpa, raising Cain with the Kains, Miss Jinny's ninja stars, turkey bacon with Sameena and Maleeha, afternoons with Nisha, wrestling with Uncle Scott - this list is hardly exhaustive.
You see, I am not enough.
We aren't enough, we aren't enough on our own. And that's okay, that's how it's meant to be. The strongest we can be is together. So leaning on each other isn't a bad thing, it doesn't mean we aren't doing enough, it means we're doing it right.
- Love From Maria